This morning I read an interesting quote,
“When you see somebody who’s got a complaining personality, it usually means that they had some vision of what things could be, and they’re constantly disappointed by that. I think that would be the camp that I would fall into – constantly horrified by the things people do.” Daniel Clowes
This really got me to thinking about people that complain in a different light. Normally, I might review the complainer as more of a person that has an opinion but would prefer to complain than take action. It honestly hadn’t occurred to me that person was actually someone who felt, disappointed, powerless, and yes… constantly horrified.
This realization is important because it also helps emphasize how different we all think. Our paradigm… our personal map of our life up to a certain point can not ever be wholly understood by another human being… and it’s important that we understand that.
It’s also important to understand that while situational perceptions are dictated by personal paradigms (I know, WOW… right?) We can all agree on a general course of accepted action. We can all agree on “what works” and what will achieve success. We can all agree in measurements.
Thinking is the key.
Allowing your mind to overcome your brain and lay down the rules of action.
Allowing yourself the opportunity to understand that … the traffic jam is not a personal affront, no matter how late you are going to be for work… the traffic jam is not personal.
You may be disappointed that you didn’t leave earlier or you may feel aggravated that you didn’t take alternate route. All of these feelings should be recognized then released as you thoughtfully review the situation and make a decision to be happy and content.
HA! I am smiling as I write that because I can envision at least one person that would scream at me, “Happy and Content! DO YOU SEE THIS TRAFFIC!?!”
If you are serious.
If you seriously want to change a negative reaction to something like a traffic jam, you need to pause and reflect… not jump to react.
You need to take a deep breath and understand what you are feeling… why you are feeling it… then let it go.
Your aggravated comments will serve what purpose? They will aggravate you more. The person in the other car.. Can Not Hear You.
You may think that this venting makes you feel better, but does it? Wouldn’t you feel better if you were thinking about other things… using the slow traffic to enjoy music on the radio… or planning an upcoming event… or talking to a friend (hands free of course)
If you prepare yourself for the “traffic” event, you might even enjoy your trip… traffic jam and all.
Well, Well, I seem to have gotten off on a traffic tangent.
So… what to do if you are a constant complainer?
“The first step is to not complain! There will be many times throughout the day when you may feel like complaining and you may have complaining type thoughts, but instead you will stop yourself short of repeatedly verbalizing your grievances.”
Really, that simple.
You can think it, just don’t say it. Then… eventually since you will want to say something, you will either say something positive or start a completely unrelated conversation.
Have fun and remember to make today AMAZING